We all have stuff that we don't quite need. But that incredibly large wooden phallus you brought from Brazil means a lot to you! Even though it's hidden safely away from anyone and everyone. You're too cheap to donate it (every thrift shop has an 'incredibly large wooden phallus from Brazil' section, but who cares?), and no pawn shop owner in his or her right mind will take it. They aren't as artistically sophisticated as the rest of us, those pawn shop owners. So what do you do with that thing? Easy! Stick it in a vending machine.
Silly art project people! They're always up to silly stuff. This is no exception. Behold, the "Swap-O-Matic". What, you may ask, is the Swap-O-Matic? No problem! I'll tell you!
Imagine yourself in the wintry streets of Brooklyn, treading through a fresh layer of thin snow. Your backpack feels uncomfortably heavy. Wait! You have a brand-new leather notebook that you don't even need in there! Your eyes shift across the gray urban landscape until you see the light of a golden afternoon sun reflecting off the window of what appears to be a hipster cafe! The kind for the really intense hipsters, who think that Starbucks is way-way-waaay too mainstream. Said cafe is called "Blue Stocking's Cafe". You recall that this is a Swap-O-Matic location! Huzzah!
You step through the door. A record player spins out some unreleased indie track that has been released on vinyl. Bags of coffee are on sale in the back. A "free-trade independent company" label has been taped over the Starbucks logo. You look to your left to see a Swap-O-Matic machine. You pull off your backpack and dig through it for the leather notebook. Book in hand, you walk towards the machine, which resembles a series of transparent glass lockers adorned with '50s space lounge imagery. In one of the glass boxes you notice a mug with Karl Marx quotes plastered all over it. How delightfully unconventional! That mug is totally tradeable for your leather notebook. So you proceed to type your e-mail into the Swap-O-Matic, select the 'swap' option, and open the now-unlocked door of the mug's container. You replace the mug with your notebook and close the door shut. And now you have a mug where there was once a notebook. Your bag is still heavy, but it is now philosophically heavy, too!
That's essentially how the Swap-O-Matic machine works. You can use it to trade different objects such as cocaine, books, and incredibly large wooden phalli from Brazil. You can also donate stuff, which adds a credit to your account. You can redeem these credits at any time to open one of the compartments if something awesome, such as a Karl Marx mug, finds its way there.
I actually think this is a very interesting idea. But it seems it would only work in settings such as small cafes, the reason being that unless the machine is in clear view of the workers and customers, people will probably start replacing nice stuff with empty milk cartons and cardboard boxes. Other than that, I would love to have some of these around town. It would totally make my useless stuff more useful. For other people.
More on this project at http://www.swap-o-matic.com/.
Now please excuse me while I buy the new Radiohead album and place it in the Swap-O-Matic just to show how much I don't want it. How do you go from Kid A to that thing? Seriously.
Feo.
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